#nonbinary vs genderqueer

[nonbinarynow]

Genderqueer ≠ Non-binary

Genderqueer isn't just a thing nonbinary people are. Heck, it's not even a thing only trans people are. "Genderqueer" is an adjective, turned into a noun for some but gender queerness, queered gender can really describe any non typical, politicised relationship to gender. A cis genderqueer person may be a twink, a drag artist, a tomboy, a femboy, a femme, a butch, a stud, a crossdresser, a cis person who uses atypical pronouns for their gender, a transvestite or any other gender nonconformist. A binary trans person may easily consider their binary gender status as genderqueer due to the politicised existence of binary transness, a percieved atypical transition or because they live queerly as a binary gendered person. Obviously, enben have an inherent genderqueerness; this is our living status for many of us who wish to live authentically. Our genders by being not binary, are queer. Some politicise it on purpose, honing into the nonbinary liberationist stance. Some are genderqueers and that is their noun, their whole identity. It is an adjective label but can also be a noun, even for the binary trans and cisgender people who are genderqueers.

Queering gender and a queer experience with gender in relation to the world is vast and not limited only to nonbinary people specifically. That's why I have the tags cis genderqueer and binary genderqueer. In many places where people say nonbinary, they describe gender queerness. I understand why the two might be conflated but there is a distinction; they are not the same.

[earthyspruce]

Happy Pride everyone! I don’t think I’ve ever spent this much time on an art piece but it was totally worth it for all these amazing canon (and fanon) genderqueer characters!

[girlwithanuzi]

More like if a genderqueer person was only attracted to agender people, which technically makes it now “straight” as they are the opposite gender.

[carlyraejepsans]

for real WHERE does the idea that [utdr humans] are nongendered so that "you can project on them" come from. their literal character arcs are about NOT being a blank slate to be filled in by the audience

i think i understand the assumption on some level for undertale, because there is a very intentional effort to make you identify with the "player character" in order to make your choices feel like your own (the beating heart of undertale's metanarrative lies in giving you an alternative path to violence against its enemies after all, and whether you're still willing to persue it for your own selfish reasons. YOUR agency is crucial).

of course, the cardinal plot twist of the main ending sweeps the rug from under your feet on that in every way, and frisk's individuality becomes, in turn, a tool to further UT's OTHER main theme: completionism as a form of diegetic violence within the story. replaying the game would steal frisk's life and happy ending from them for our own perverse sentimentality, emotionally forcing our hand away from the reset button.

i think their neutrality absolutely aids in that immersion. but also, there's this weird attitude by (mostly) cis fans where it being functional within the story makes it... somehow "editable" and "up to the player" as well? which is gross and shows their ass on how they approach gender neutrality in general lol.

but also like. there's plenty of neutral, non PCharacters in undertale and deltarune. even when undertale was just an earthbound fangame and the player immersion metanarrative was completely absent, toby still described frisk as a "young, androgynous person". sometimes characters are just neutral by design. it's not that hard to understand lol.

anyone who makes this argument for kris deltarune is braindead. nothing else to say about it.

[insaniquariumfish]

A significant portion of people nowadays do not have even a basic understanding of what gender is or what the phrase “gender is a social construct” actually means, and this lack of understanding is poisoning all discourse on the subject of sex and gender as well as semantically mangling the language that we use to discuss these things.

“Man,” “woman,” “male,” and “female” are not genders. “Masculinity” and “femininity” are genders. People are not assigned male or female at birth. People are assigned masculinity or femininity at birth. The state of existing as a man or woman is not determined by gender and has nothing to do with gender. Gender is everything that is culturally associated with men and women besides the state of being a man or woman itself. Gender is “boys don’t cry” and “girls wear dresses.” Gender is not “boys are male and girls are female.” That is sex, which is a biological category, and not a social category, like gender is. A gender is not something you can identify your way into being, because gender is a social phenomenon that is socially constructed and socially imposed, and therefore has nothing to do with your personal internal thoughts, feelings, or desires. Gender is an act you perform, not an identity you feel. How gender applies to you is something that the people around you determine for you, because that is how social constructs work. You are only a feminine/masculine person if the people around you perceive you to be feminine/masculine. Whether you are male or female, on the other hand, has absolutely nothing to do with how you are perceived by others, or even by yourself. You are the sex that you are even if people mistake you for being the other sex, just like an amputee is still an amputee even if people can’t tell that their leg is prosthetic.

Gender is not objectively real, because it is based in subjective and arbitrary social norms that differ depending on culture and time period. No one is innately a gender by virtue of some psychological or neurological property present at birth, any more than they are innately a criminal or a geek or a celebrity or any other social category by virtue of some psychological or neurological property present at birth. Sex is objectively real. You would still be the sex that you are even if no one alive, including you, understood the concept of sex or had the means to determine it, just like you would still be the height that you are even if no one understood the concept of height or had the means to measure it. Meanwhile, you would not have a gender if there was no one who understood the concept of gender, because gender exists only as a concept, and a highly subjective one that is constantly in a state of being redefined, at that, and gender does not describe or indicate any property of objective reality.

[not-poignant]

Hiya Pia. I know you've said you will never write f/m or f/f stories but what about ftm/m? Would you ever write a main character who was a transman or is that in the same nope category? Thanks

Hello there!

I have written f/f, just not in a dedicated fashion. It's only ever been in oneshots etc. But there's at least one Fenwrel/Gulvi oneshot out there. :D

I've definitely considered writing trans characters, and nonbinary characters, at the moment it doesn't really jangle around in my brain the same way mostly because of my own trans/nonbinary experience, and I often try and avoid writing /thinks/ my gender experience into stories, because of complexity and dysphoria and a few other things. It's also a reason for example why I don't really write many fat MCs either. The 'it hits very close to home and I still have stuff I'm unpacking around it' thing makes it not easier, but harder.

I've noticed that some authors find it a lot easier to write that stuff into stories, but I've talked to a friend who similarly struggles (who is also transmasc) about how much we sort of...have had issues writing these sorts of characters if they just hit too close to home. And I think it's partly that while my writing allows me to explore things, it does need to feel at least a little escapist to me too.

Anyway, what you've listed above would to me still just be straight up m/m, it's just a flavour of m/m that I don't really write at this time.

Kimerrin/Gwyn is probably the closest version of it, right now. But the vench aren't human, and don't have human gender (which honestly helps a lot).

I do read quite a few stories with trans characters, but writing it feels different. I'm definitely not ruling it out, it's not a hard no or anything, it's just not where I'm really pulled for my future stories right now, I apologise!

[oh-dimmity]

I have commissions now! DM me if you’re interested. You can also follow my on Instagram under the same handle :3c

[nonbinarynow]

How would you describe antibinarism?

To me, antibinarism is to be against the current gender binary in a manner that recognises the colonialist, bourgeois roots of the system.

Binarism is the Western imposed gender binary is a tool of colonialism, neo and classical. As a black person with direct African heritage, it broke my heart to find out how the West steamrolled the nuances of gender experience in my native culture, and imposed a very strict sex and gender binary. It divided them, it alienated them from their own culture and set them into rigid worker identities. Binarism shows why binary gendered POC are held to unrealistic standards that they will never reach because they are not going to fit into the patriarchal, white, bourgeois cishet binary. It shows how the binary was used to dehumanise us though that effect. It explains why queer people have always been genderqueer by nature of their sexualities. It explains why the nuclear family model was developed in that particular manner economically (domestic labour mother, market labour father and 2.5 children) and why it is upheld as a finality (to produce workers at an effective rate; to manage and engage with private ownership). Binarism is down to capitalism and it's effects on society, culture and mentality.

So for me as an antibinarist, I am specifically anticapitalist because of this. They are inseparable. I feel that anti-binarism is to be against the sociocultural mindset of the gender binary and the reasoning why it exists (capitalism, exploitation and private property.)

[femmemonster]

gender is so crazy

[fridayyy-13th]

so i'm reading through my school's dorm orientation and i've gotten to the section on having guests over, and it says overnight guests must be of the same gender as the occupant...so is...is this heterophobia. if a girl can bring a girl over for the night but not a boy (or vice versa). never thought i'd see the day.

[backyardflaneur916]

[skys-archive]

I think in honor of pride month and also in general forever we should stop trying fit queer people into the identities we think they should call themselves.

And I know no one is going to see this because no one ever does but I'm going to talk about it anyway because this is important.

Bisexual doesn't mean you don't date trans people, it doesn't mean you like men and women, it doesn't mean you can't have a preference. Someone can identify as polysexual or bisexual or omnisexual and have no preference and you don't get to say that that means they're pansexual. Because no, if they don't identify as pansexual then they're not pansexual.

Transmasc doesn't mean you use he/him pronouns. It doesn't mean you identify as a man. Transfem doesn't mean you use she/her pronouns. It doesn't mean you identify as a woman. You can be nonbinary or genderqueer or agender or any gender that isn't binary and not use they/them pronouns. You can use any of those labels and still identify as a man or a woman. You can use different pronouns than is typically used for your birth sex and not consider yourself transgender. People can be gender non conforming and not he trans. People can be trans and not gender non conforming.

A trans man can be fem. A trans woman can be masc. Nonbinary people don't owe you androgyny. Intersex people don't owe you androgyny. Intersex people are people, they deserve way more attention than a way to one up transphobes. Intersex people face discrimination and body altering surgeries without their consent and then are only ever talked about to say "some cis women have penises" or "some people have an extra x chromosome" and then we never talk about the struggle they face as part of the queer community.

Asexuality and aromanticism is a spectrum. Some aces like sex, some aces are repulsed, some aces only experience sexual attraction to one person or once in their life, some aces need a deep emotional bond, some aces their attraction changes. Some aros change identities. Some aros are repulsed by romance unless it's a fictional character. Some aros have romantic feelings until they get to know someone. Some aros crave a romantic relationship but never have romantic feelings. You don't get to say someone isn't asexual or aromantic enough.

Asexuality and aromanticism is having a unique relationship with romance or sexual feelings and impulses. Someone who is transgender has a unique experience with gender. You don't get to decide that they don't have a unique experience. But guess what? You don't get to decide if they do either. Someone can have a unique experience and still not identify as asexual aromantic or transgender. You can cross dress and still fully feel like a man. You can use he/him pronouns as a cis women. You can have trauma around sex and not identify as asexual. You can never have a romantic relationship and not identify as aromantic.

You can have "contradicting" labels. I don't know as many of these because I don't personally identify as any but please fell welcome to add in reblogs. There are trans men lesbians and gay women. There are sex loving asexuals. I know there are others I just genuinely am not educated enough.

YOU DONT GET TO CHOOSE SOMEONES LABELS

ANYONE CAN EITHER IDENTIFY OR NOT IDENTIFY AS QUEER

Please feel welcome to add anything in reblogs. I'm sure there's things I've missed. I haven't talked about neopronouns I haven't talked enough about "contradicting" labels. I haven't talked about queer platonic relationships or kink or polyamory or enough about intersex people or pronouns vs gender. There's so much important things but at the end of the day it's just so important to not choose other people's labels.

[canisbrutus]

Pride HCs - [p.1?] Nerd Clique

happy pride month maybe this will be a series maybe not 🌈

Earnest

homophobic repressed queer, & extremely bitter about it.

bi, but you'll never hear it from him. no preference personally, but is often more verbal about boobs for obvious reasons.

extremely dependent on Melvin bc he doesnt know how to process his own faggotry regarding him.

Melvin

also bi. a bit more openly 'curious' esp in g&g with his clique.

genderqueer as well; fond of playing the opposite sex, though probably a bit more lowkey about that. its not a dress its a wizard robe etc etc.

earnest isnt normal about that either, but in the gay way.

one of the notably safer folks to come out to at least.

Thad

somewhere on the grey spectrum- formerly ID'd as ace, but uhhhh

well he's a homo. and likely some form of demi.

aroace-flux? lets go with that. either way he has no interest in women whatsoever and disinterested in dating as a whole.

or so he thought. bucky remains his situationship. i could write an entire post about these two.

Bucky

victim of comphet.

also a homo. also demisexual.

knows very well how he feels about thad but often tiptoes around the subject due to thad's aversion to the matter (and being touched in general).

gender questioning. possibly nonbinary; not particularly attached to the concept of masculinity itself.

Donald

aromantic, demisexual, and a hater

but he doesnt know his own labels; considering himself chaste.

regrettably catholic. sometimes comes off as homophobic but he just looks down his nose at 'all the degenerates'

looks up to earnest a Normal amount however. (lying)

Beatrice

lesbian ❤ in denial. until mandy....... well i shant say.

also a victim of comphet. has had crushes on (mostly fictional) men but. you know. plus her parents Needed to have a say in that.

jimmy was a little different for reasons unknown. (bigender butch)

poor girl was under too much pressure

Algernon

likely bi with no preference, aside from. well. liking more assertive domineering types.

pingpongs between wanting to come out vs stay in the closet bc he's self aware enough to know his reputation is already in the gutter, but ultimately keeps it on the downlow in case Earnest has anything to say about it.

possible gender fuckery; has enjoyed roleplaying as a girl online in the past, but hasnt explored it indepth.

Francois

tboy chaser. i'm sorry. something about liking pussy but girls being too 'unfair'.

otherwise? kind of a pan, prefers women, though he very much struggles to score anyone in person. roleplaying is different however.

has attempted to impress eunice to no avail.

fictosexual/selfshipper, though he has his hangups about it not being taken seriously.

Cornelius Juliet

oh my god please save this poor tgirl. she's basically half out of the closet and bullworth is not a good place to be several minorities at once.

the PA announcements call her out twice; one we know as burton broadcasting her gym score, the other being a 'general reminder' for all students to wear uniforms of the correct sex.

she's not even safe in her own clique considering earnest broke her and her surprisingly understanding boyfriend up. (which Melvin damn near tore his ear off for, mind you, but i digress)

on a lighter note, she's also pan, and admittedly a hopeless romantic.

it's very likely she's crushing on beatrice, who was actually the first person she came out to and has been fully supportive since.

some of these got more rambly than others. dont mind that. requests are open btw in case yall missed it.

[writing masterpost]

[are-they-t4t]

Welcome to the Are They T4T poll blog!

pfp flag made by @radiocecil

where you submit ships you think are t4t and we let strangers on the internet decide if you're correct!!!

What is this?

this is a poll blog that centers around t4t ships that are not explicitly stated as canon.

How does it work?

via asks, submitters can send ships and we (as a collective)(by we I mean the internet) decide whether or not they're t4t!

I still don't understand...

any questions you have can be sent to my inbox, and I'll be happy to answer. remember, there are no dumb questions!

FTM/MTF VS Transmasc/Transfem

Please use transmasc/transfem when you mean someone on the transmasculine/transfeminine spectrum, not necessarily non-binary, but not binary trans

Please use trans man/trans woman when you mean someone who is binary trans

Please use ftm/mtf when you mean someone who uses the label ftm/mtf, or someone who identifies as a boy who used to be a girl/girl who used to be a boy

Please use a different label if you mean something different, or use unlabeled trans/non-cis if you dont have one in specific

Rules

No transphobia, transandrophobia, or transmisogyny. this should be obvious but I'll say it anyway

No harassment. keep discourse on your own blog, here we follow the rule of if you don't have anything nice to say, keep your mouth shut

Similar to above, everyone is allowed to have their own headcanons. If you don't agree with it, you can scroll.

T4T here is not just the binary trans, you can submit genderqueer headcanons of all identities!

All characters are allowed except those from fandoms in Fandom Jail, which will be updated as I go.

I personally am not comfortable with darkships, please don't submit them here. I am relying on the honor system. If you do not adhere to this rule, you will be blocked.

What counts as a darkship, mod? If the ship is between a minor and an adult, family members, or a human and an animal, it is a darkship. Everything else is fair game. I'm updating this policy.

If in the tags or comments you write something along the lines of "Everyone/the people voting for X instead of Y are (insult) and should (other insult)", you will be immediately blocked

I will add more if I need too, but I don't think I'll need to!

Fandom Jail

Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss. Anything from that creator in general.

Harry Potter and all spinoffs. anything by joke r*wl*ng

Heartstopper

Homestuck

What should I include in my submission?

Character names (no nicknames, or if you put a nickname, include the full name of the character as well. Double check your spelling).

Label/Identity. Trans man, trans woman, nonbinary, etc.

FULL Media Name. No abbreviations, no shorthands, we need the FULL NAME. Especially with video games.

A photo. It really helps me and everyone else. I do not put the names of who submitted what; your submission is anonymous even without anon on.

Propaganda, if you want! Not required!

Submission Example/Template

*this template is not required, it's here to help*

"My ship is between Character A and B (and C, etc if they're polyam). Character A is (transmasc/transfem/enby/etc), Character B is (transmasc/transfem/enby/etc), (it's the same if there are other characters)."

If you'd like, you can also submit the relationship type (ex: couple, throuple, fwb, polycule, etc). Not required.

Me tagging for reach: @kiss-marry-kill-polls @aretheyasimp @aretheypolyamorous @do-you-ship-it-polls

[our-queer-experience]

honestly, i do have a lot of empathy for transmedicalists because when i was 11-14, my therapist was full on doing a conversion therapy on me. she was this older woman who i had to fight tooth and nail to get to believe that i could be trans in the first place, that i could want hormones and surgery someday, not to mention liking boys as a boy. broaching the subject of liking makeup as an 11 year old was hard enough, convincing her that nonbinary people existed was impossible!

i remember how it felt to be so, so angry and fighting so hard for scraps of recognition. and i was so intolerant towards people who weren’t suffering like i was. i was enraged that i was getting into weekly arguments with someone to get them to recognize my dysphoria as something that not only existed but was killing me, only to have nonbinary and genderqueer friends with lovely parents and lovely therapists but those people still had problems?

i was suffering so badly and, while i was never a transmed, i remember what it felt like to be angry no one else was suffering like me. and that suffering is legitimate, no matter what people do with it.

and i wish this divide wasn’t seen as dysphorics vs nondysphorics. because i don’t think we’ll ever get anywhere if we see each other as fundamentally different people rather than people who have different ideologies.

i know what it is like to feel this way because i still do, a lot of the time. and i’m glad i no longer force myself to keep suffering or expect anyone else to suffer alongside me.

[nonbinarynow]

Being nonbinary in any form is inherently a threat to the system as capitalism thrives on the societal sustenance of the nuclear family. One of the smallest units of this is the gender binary. This binary is omnipresent, in every little nook and cranny of society. In the things you say, the way you walk, the manner in which you talk, even the way you think, is binary gendered. To naturally deviate from this line of thought, of interaction, of life, is radical to me.

To consciously queerly deviate in every aspect is where the genuine material radicalism lies. To queer your enbiness, to make it political and openly anti capitalist, to note it as being of a leftist persuasion, to be anti-binary instead of just non-binary (as I've seen the term bandied around) is materially radical. To go against those dichotomies introduced by man/woman, male/female, exclusive masculine/exclusive feminine. To see and understand these binaries as a bourgeois creation and tool of division and oppression. To protest and question the foundation of this society. To respond to the culture in a queer way and rallies against it accordingly to develop the society into a better future. To be living proof that it is possible to live and live well outside of this bourgeois societial structure. This is very radical to me.